Can You Believe We Made These? Aren't They Beautiful?

Walked In On This Yesterday...

Brinley reading to London.  It was pretty much the cutest thing in the whole world.

I Love My Life!

(London 11 Days)

Everyday my Mom calls me and asks how we are doing.  I always say, “We’re good.”  The other day she said, “You always say you’re good.  You never complain” but the truth is, it doesn’t get any better than this.  I feel so blessed to be the mother of the two most amazing little girls in the whole world, but I got thinking, maybe my Mom is right.  Shouldn’t I be feeling just a little bit postpartum?  Shouldn’t I resent the fact that I rarely get more than one hour of sleep at a time?  Shouldn’t I be feeling just a little bit stressed and overwhelmed?  Shouldn’t I feel exhausted in the middle of the night when I can’t get my baby to stop crying? I don’t feel any of those things.  I just hug and kiss them every chance I get, even if it is in the middle of the night. I’m not sure it’s normal to feel this great after having a baby.  I can’t get enough of my girls and I’m sure Dustin is wondering what has gotten into me, I can’t get enough of him either.  Love my little family, I’m just really really happy, that’s all. 

Ok, maybe I am feeling just a little postpartum because the other night when Brinley was asleep I climbed in bed with her, put my arms around her, told her how much I loved her and that I was sorry if the changes were hard for her.  I thought she was asleep until she told me it was ok.  so, I just talked to her and told her how I felt and she said, "Mom, why are you whispering?" and I told her because it was really late and she said, "Yeah Mom, so you need to go to bed!"

The Story of London

(4 days old)

So many people ask me where we came up with London's name.  As you may or may not know, Brinley has wanted a baby sister for years!  She talked about babies and we talked about babies, but she was ready long before we were.  A couple of years ago Brinley was telling me she wanted a baby sister.  I told her that we don't get to choose if we have a boy or a girl and asked her what we would name it if we did have a baby.  We threw out several names both boy and girl, one happened to be "London"  she liked it and we liked it too, but  from that moment on she referred to her baby sister in heaven as "London".  Elle comes from me.  Some people have a hard time understanding that so let me spell it out shELLEy.  So, long before London was even conceived she was Brinley's baby sister "London Hell".  Yes, I do realize I said London Hell, that's what Brinley called her for a long time.  She would sometimes cry for her baby sister and when she outgrew something she would put it in her old nursery to save for her baby sister London. 

Before we found out what we were having we tried to talk to Brinley about the possibility of having a boy, but she was still convinced it was her sister London.  And when we found out we were having a girl, Dustin and I were both shocked, but Brinley said she knew it was a girl because she's smart.

We didn't want to name her London just because that's what Brinley said her name was so we tried to come up with other names too.  I liked "Payton" and even warmed Brinley up to it a bit, but when I asked Dustin if he was set on London he said, "I think that's what it should be."  And he was right.  We all love her name and I guess Brinley knew what she was talking about. 

Where did my little girl go?

Just after we brought London home Brinley started preschool.  I didn't think sending her to preschool would be hard, it's just preschool, but I was wrong.  I may have cried when we drove away, but only because she cried when I left her.  This feels like an entirely different life for me.  It's just been Brinley and I for so long and now I drop my child off at school then go home and take care of a different one.  Weird!  They are all good things, just different from what we are used to. 

Welcome London

We had hoped that London would come on my Mom’s week off from chemo and I actually started having some pretty good contractions, but unfortunately they lasted for about two weeks with little progress. We tried to encourage her to come, but I am now convinced NOTHING works… walking, running, stripped membranes (twice), etc. This little girl was not going to come until she was good and ready. I had honestly given up all hopes of having two children. I was convinced that she was NEVER going to come. So, we forced her a little bit and on August 29, 2011 at 11:43am London Elle Cazier was born. She’s perfect and we just can’t get enough of her. She weighed 7 pounds 9.5 ounces (I say 9.5 because her paper work had 7lbs 9 oz on it, but technically you should round up to 7 lbs 10 oz) and was 19 inches long.


They started me on platocin around 6:00, I had some contractions, but nothing I hadn’t been feeling for the past two weeks, no progress (stubborn baby)! My Dr. broke my water at about 8:45 and finally some progress. I started to feel some serious contractions, like when they say they will be in every half hour to check on you, I was counting the minutes and considering on begging for an epidural. Finally an epidural and wow, now I know what an epidural is supposed to feel like. I realize now my epidural with Brinley did not work and thankfully when my babies decide to come I don’t really have to push. She came and it was easy, but she swallowed some amniotic fluid in the process so after she was born the NICU Dr. spent a good 45 minutes shoving tubes down her throat and trying to suction the fluid out. I just sat there and watched her (and cried) I couldn’t believe how perfect she was and I just kept thinking that she was that black hole we saw at our fist ultrasound. We couldn’t see anything, but my perfect little baby was in there, that was her.

I loved our time in the hospital. With Brinley they were always taking her from me and checking on her and worrying about her temperature and with London we didn’t have anything to worry about. She was so healthy and we were able to keep her in our room the entire time and it was so fun to just spend a whole day cuddling with her. Dustin was perfect and he did every bit at much as I did those first few days. He brought me beautiful flowers and an “L” charm for my Tiffany bracelet. We had visitors and they brought gifts and flowers etc. I loved having nothing to do, but hold my little baby. I told Dustin, “This makes me want more and more and more kids.” Not really sure how he felt about that. We missed Brinley like crazy and couldn’t wait to bring London home and start living our lives as a family of four.

 We bought Brinley a digital camera because big sisters have a very important job and it's a good thing because we had trouble with our camera.

 London is one day old and it looks like she wants to go home.

Welcome to our family Lunnie!  We love you and are so blessed to live in the presence of such a sweet little angel.

Swimming

Swimming was a trial this year, but we made it through.  Brinley struggled for a few days and I ended up going to work soaking wet one day, but we bribed her and she ended up doing great in the end.  I think our recent trip to St. George had something to do with her fear of drowning.  She literally sat a foot away from a little girl that was drowning so I'm sure it's real to her.  I'm so proud of her for overcoming her fear.