It saddens me to write this part in our history. My last attempt ending with me staring at her
picture on my computer screen, with tears streaming down my face at a loss for
words. She really was a beautiful
person. The months leading up to my mom’s
passing were perhaps some of the hardest.
I did things I never imagined myself doing. I was asked to do things I wasn’t sure I
could. Most of all, it was just hard to
watch her slip away, one day at a time. Saturday
I asked her if she was going to wake up, her reply was, “not today.” She spoke
a bit that day, but for the most part she just slept. The last time she spoke to me was that day
and it was, “I love you”. I don’t
believe she spoke at all on Sunday, but I will never forget her response when
we held the IPad up for her to see Troy, she tried to speak, she cried and she
smiled, that moment held more emotion than we had see from her in days,
possibly weeks. She was so happy, yet in
complete agony as she did not want to leave this life. That prompted Troy to get a flight. Monday night couldn’t come fast enough as we
anxiously awaited for him to arrive. She
seemed to decline by the minute and at times we worried that he wouldn’t get to
say goodbye to her. He finally arrived
late that night and it was agonizing the say the least. The details of that night seemed to be on
replay in my mind for weeks and although they are too personal to share, nor do
I need to because I will never forget them here is what I love about Monday
night, I loved the way my sister cared for my Mother. I couldn’t do it with that much compassion no
matter how hard I tried. I loved my Mom
and I did everything I could for her, but the truth is, I couldn’t give her
what Jessica could. It took a special
person to do what she did and my love and respect for her grew a thousand times
that night and then on Tuesday morning, the most beautiful spring day, she left this life and entered something
far greater than she ever had here. It
was no coincidence that the people she
spoke of and to in her final days were her deceased father and sister. I miss her, so much I miss her! But she really doesn’t seem that far away,
and maybe that’s because she’s not.
