A Mind of Her Own

Some days the battle over what to wear just isn't worth the fight.  Brinley is really opinionated when it comes to what she wants to wear or how she wants her hair done.  Most of the time I try to let her make her own decisions, but occasionally we disagree, like whenever she is going somewhere other than my sister's house to play.  Why she insisted on wearing her winter coat when it was 90* outside, I do not know.  She would not let me do anything with her hair other than brush it and the sad look on her face is because as a compromise I had just made her take off her knee high church socks.  She was not happy about it.  So yes, this is how she left the house this morning, winter coat with swimming suit in hand. 

Her stubborn personality is difficult at times, but I must say, I love that she knows what she wants out of life (even if it is just to wear her Easter dress or to have a pony tail in the back, not on the side) and she fights for what she believes.  Dustin says she gets her stubbornness from me, humm what can I say?  I guess we are both fighters.  I don't know that I would call it stubborn, just determined.

Island Park

We spent 6 days over the 24th in Island Park with my family (minus my two brothers).  My silly Grandma is such a clean freak.  Everyone else was outside and I came down stairs and found her standing on the couch washing the windows. 

We went to Big Springs one day.

 We also spent a day in Yellowstone.

 We hiked down to the Lower Falls.

 We stopped somewhere to have a picnic and just as we were finishing a black bear got a little closer than we would have liked.

 half of our family went to use the bathroom and the other half slightly panicked as this bear came closer and closer as he could probably smell our food.  As you can see, he got pretty close to our car, he actually got closer, but I didn't take too many pictures since my family was headed this way and still not aware of the bear.  The last thing I wanted was this bear to come closer to my car with my husband and daughter still outside.   Later that day we watched a grizzly and two cubs from a much safer distance.

 We drove to Quake Lake one day.  This lake is so beautiful!

 Damage from the quake.

 The view of Henry's Lake from our cabin was so pretty!

We did some walking, hiking, a little biking and a little running, but we were mainly just lazy.  It was so nice to forget about all of our projects at home for a while.  It was a great little getaway.

A Humbling Day

My day started off at the gym.  I'm still running, but usually I do short intervals between walking and running.  Sometimes this is discouraging  when I compare it to what my body used to do.  I then noticed a guy with a wheelchair.  I watched him as he would move his wheelchair from one machine to the next, but I was completely baffled when I saw him step onto the treadmill.  I'm not sure what was wrong with his legs, maybe an injury??  He appeared to have problems with both of his legs, but one foot was completely angled so that when he walk he was walking on the side of his foot, almost his ankle.  I did not want to make him feel like I was staring at him, but I couldn't help it.  I was so amazed by his determination.  I wondered what his story was and what motivated him to do something so incredibly hard and probably painful.  And because of that I am thankful.  I'm so thankful for what my body is physically able to do when so many others are never even given the chance.

Later in the day I sat at my desk and cried over the phone with my Mom and we discussed the results from her recent cat scan.  Although she has endured 3 months of chemo therapy her cancer has continued to spread through her bones. And as I sat at my desk  with tears streaming down my face I could feel little kicks and movements inside of me and that brought a smile to my face and got me thinking about life.    Although I am deeply saddened, I'm thankful for humbling experiences that make me realize that God has given me so much more than I deserve.  I have hair, yet I complain about "bad hair days".  My life does not revolve around chemo treatments.  I can plan a vacation or a trip when I want, yet I complain about not having enough time in a day to accomplish the things that I desire.  I don't have day after day of exhaustion.  I don't have to stop in the middle of doing dishes to rest, yet I complain that I'm tired.  I'm ashamed of who I am sometimes, of the things I take for granted.  Tonight I will go to bed a little more humble than I did yesterday.

Our Little Update... Ok, it might be more like a big, huge, long one

A few months ago my mom was diagnosed with a really rare form of stage 4 breast cancer.  It was obviously so devastating, but I am so amazed by her.  Watching her go through this has been so hard, yet I have learned so much from it.  My Mom is so humble and it is a great desire of mine to become more like her.  She just finished 3 months of chemo and will soon be tested to see how her body responded to the treatment.  I wish with all of my heart that this could be over for her, that she is cured.  This may not be the case for her, but I'm so proud of her and so incredibly blessed to be her daughter.  Sometimes when things were really hard and there were so many unanswered questions I would feel sorry for myself.  I thought it wasn't fair that my Mom was being shorted on her quality of life, therefore I was being shorted and my children are being shorted. Then I came to the realization that most people don't have the kind of  Mom that I do and that's not fair.  Most people didn't have a childhood like I did and that's not fair.  Some people don't have a mom that cares about them at all, now that's not fair.  My Mom has given me more in one day than a lot of people get from their mother in a lifetime.  And now I actually feel guilty for being so blessed because each day of my life has honestly been a blessing.  And so much of that is because I honestly have the most amazing mother in the entire world.


We love that summer is finally here! We’ve made trips to the park, jumped on the tramp with the sprinkler under it & roasted hot dogs and smores in our back yard, went to the pool etc, etc, etc.

We celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary on the 5th of June. And would you believe that we’ve actually been together for over 10 years? I can’t believe we made it this far considering the fact that we were just kids back then. I never would have guess that life would bring us here, right here where we are today and all of the things we had to go through to get us here, but I’m extremely grateful. Sometimes I think we are too young to have experienced all that we have in the past 10 years and some things have been really really hard, but I am so blessed to be married to my best friend and therefore we get each other through the rough days. I can’t express how much I know that I was supposed to marry this man, and that he needs me just as much as I need him. I’m so much different than I was before he was a part of me. I’m better now and I’m grateful for that. I’m grateful for him. I love him! And On the 18th of June Dustin turned the big three-zero. My how time flies.
 
A few months ago Troy and Sabra fled, I mean moved to Arizona.  We miss their guts!  Regardless of the fact that we fought like crazy as kids, Troy and I are now great friends.  We did a lot together and I miss him.  He is the only person that will play 'Would You Rather' with me and not get completely grossed out when I ask him the most disgusting questions.  We laugh our guts out when we are together and he always does what I dare him to like... order something with extra mustard and then say, "Actually hold the mus, I just want the turd."  Or when there was a french fry in his order of tater tots I dared him to say, "Excuse me, can I exchange this for a tot?  I ordered tater tots not french fries."  ( When I started to write this post I was crying and now I'm laughing so hard and I can't quit.  I think my husband is getting annoyed).
 
I love the 4th of July and I love this country!  I just finished A Thousand Splendid Suns and it makes me realize how blessed I am to live in America.  Our 4th of July weekend was busy, but so much fun! 
 

 We watched the fireworks at Grandma and Grandpa Cazier's again this year.  Last Fall Dustin and I took a Dutch oven cooking course with Steve and Jill so we cooked for Dutch oven for everyone.  Of course Mike had his Studebaker in the Cruise In so we rode in the parade with him.  A relative of our is a Beach Boy so he hooked us up with tickets to the concert and we all had a ton of fun (ok, Brinley was not quite herself because she had 5 shots that day).  We went to the parade  then to my parent's for

lunch and the kids had fun playing in the water.

 

We are so excited for our little Lunnie to get her.  In 6 weeks (but hopefully more like 5) we will officially be a family of 4.  I'm scared of labor, I'm scared of starting over, and wondering how I am going to balance all of this, but most of all I just can't wait to be a mother of two.  I already consider myself a mother of two, but I can't wait to see her and hold her and have a baby in our home again.  I love Brinley so much and it's the most amazing thing in the whole world.  People say, "Your capacity  love grows" and I'm excited to feel that, to give more and to love more.

If there is one thing I can say about myself it’s that I’m an excellent nester (well, sort of). Wish I could say that we had some fabulous vacation planned this summer, but the truth is we’ve just been working out guts out. Dustin has been so great to help me with my eternal “to do before baby list” and the list keeps growing and growing and we just keep working and working, but it seems the things we are working on do need done because I will probably be useless two months from now, but the actual “baby” things we haven’t quite concord yet.  The nursery is full of  boxes and I haven't even begun to decorate it yet.  It's all in my head and I just can't find what I want. 

So… there is this house that we absolutely LOVE and we wanted to build it. We have the plans and we looked at lots and we thought and thought and thought and we know the house would be just perfect for our growing family and we dream of raising our kids in that house and now is a GREAT time to build a house, but not necessarily the best time to sell one and the truth is, the more I thought about leaving our house the more I loved it. It kept me up at night and when I thought about leaving our little home I would cry. We have way too many memories there. I scribbled “I love Dustin” on the 2x4’s that now make up our walls. We built those walls. We put the shingles on the roof and the rock on the outside. And when our house was just a hole in the ground we shoveled gravel until we were physically sick from heat exhaustion. We laugh there and we cry there. That is where we spent our first Christmas and I will never forget bringing Brinley home from the hospital. So… although those house plans are still hanging on our magnet board and we both still LOVE the house and we both still really want to raise our family in that house and chances are that someday we will build that house, but we decided that our current house still meets our needs and we plan to stay for another 5 years or so, so we have been working really hard to turn every room into something we love.  We still have so much work to do, but we have accomplished so much!  Here is a peek at some of our progress.

And... you may or may not be aware of the Mustang that has been in our lives for quite some time now.  Well, Dustin owned it before we met (and that was over 10 years ago).  He has worked on it a little bit here and there, but mainly it just sat.  Well, he decided he wanted to sell it.  I knew that I couldn't say anything to him and that it had to be his decision, but then he got serious about it when I came home and saw it sitting in my driveway I knew that I could not let him sell it, it's just such a huge part of him.  It's who he is.  It may seem like a silly thing, but lets just say some tears were shed.  I realized that my husband has just been too busy making everyone else's (mine and Brinley's) dreams come true that he has no time to worry about his own.  So... we talked and I told him it was his decision, but if it was still a dream of his we needed to make it happen. Long story short,  he didn't sell it and I'm happy because it's so him and he's happy because... it's so him.  And we are making time for him to work on it.  His Dad was so great to help him out on Saturday, yay progress!

And there you have it... our lives in a nutshell.  A very big nutshell.

Trailer Trash????

So... about  a year ago we seriously considered buying a second home in Arizona.  The declining market down there would allow us to buy a very nice home for a very reasonable price.  We searched and searched and searched.  There were thousands of homes in our price range.  We narrowed it down a bit, called Realtors, sent emails etc. etc. etc.  I sort of fell in love with one that had a gorgeous kitchen, 4 bedrooms and a pool in the back yard, we planned to take a trip down there in the winter to check things out.  I dreamed about planting fruit trees and lounging by our pool, but then winter came and our family starting growing and maybe it was just the overwhelming thought of taking a 12 hour road trip with a newborn baby, several times a year, but we came to the conclusion that this wasn't the right decision for us.  That being said, we still love to travel.  I'm all for camping in a tent, but Dustin wanted a trailer.  Don't get me wrong, I could get used to one of these

but even if we could afford it, I would rather go to Hawaii... like 20 times.  So... Dustin has pretty much lived on KSL for the past few months and that's how we came across this beauty... our home away from home.

 Yikes, look at that carpet.  I thought it sounded like a fun little project since I'm have a new obsession with redoing things (maybe I'll post about that sometime).

 So... we went to work and it now looks like this.  I know, it's a dump, right?

Wait until you see what it looks like when we're done with it.

Little Sis

We had another ultrasound today to check the baby's growth because Brinley was born with  IUGR  (Intrauterine Growth Restriction).  Didn't really know they had a fancy term for it.  It just means she was small.  I personally don't think it's a big deal, she was born just the way she was supposed to be, but my Dr. wanted to make sure this one was a little bigger.  No need to worry about this baby!  She's  ahead of the game weighing in at 4 pounds 6 ounces right now.  The ultrasound tech said she should gain 1/2 lb a week from here on out.  Yikes!  Does that mean I'm going to have a 9 pound baby?  Now I'm a little scared.  Delivering a 5 pounder was hard enough!  I remember thinking I was going to die.  Actually, I remember saying, "No seriously, I think I'm going to die."  Either way, I can't wait for the little stinker to get here and we're so glad she is healthy.  She has cute chubby cheeks and I can't wait to kiss them!

Brinley Age 4

On Brinleys's 4th Birthday we celebrated with just the three of us.  She chose to go to the park and take a picnic.  It's hard to believe our little girl is 4 years old.  At age 4:

-Brinley gives the sweetest compliments.  She is always complimenting people and although she doesn't know it, she has made my day numerous times by her sweet compliments
-Although Brinley is very sweet she also has a side to her that is just hilarious!  We are constantly laughing at the things she says.  Sometimes it's even questionably appropriate.  I try to blame this on her Dad sometimes, but the truth is, it's just who she is. 
-Brinley is very determined.  If she wants something she does not give up until she gets it (or at least she tries).  I believe this is a great trait to have yet sometimes she drives me nuts because she just doesn't let things go. 
-Brinley loves to do her own hair and she actually does a pretty good job at it.  I usually let her do her own hair if she wants to because no matter what, she always ends up looking like an orphan at the end of the day.
-Brinley is very opinionated.  She always has in mind what she wants to wear or how her hair should look (usually a dress and pigtail braids).  She would wear a dress everyday if you would let her, but we are constantly reminding her how she needs to act in a dress because she's always doing somersaults or something.
-Brinley loves all things girly!  She love pedicures, dresses, jewelry, lotion, hair, accessories, babies, barbies, anything pink.
-Brinley is quite the little gymnast.  She recently moved up from "little bounders" to "prep-one"  she seems to have a knack for it and her Dad says he thinks she was built for it.  She has a solid little flexible body and does really well in gymnastics.  I was going to take her out for the summer, but she asked if she could take a summer class.  She can walk on the high beam all by herself now.
-Although Brinley did not like her dance class she still has a love for dancing.  I think she just likes free style dancing.  She will just stop what she is doing and in the most random places she'll bust a move.  We also spend a lot of time dancing around the house. 
-Brinley loves to sing!  Dustin and I just love riding in the car with her.  She knows most of the words to several songs and when they come on we just crank it up and watch her in the rear view mirror.
-Brinley has always talked really well.  Most people think she's older than she is.  She has a great vocabulary, but there are some things she says that I just can't correct her on because I love it when she says it.  The other day she was running into the house and stopped really quick and said, "Just a second, I have an edgie (wedgie)"  or instead of amount she will say "amountment" and rather than worse she will say "orser".
-Brinley is very smart, I'm not really comparing her to anyone else, I'm just constantly amazed by her.  She loves learning and reading.  She can recite entire books that we have read to her.  She can spell and write her own name and now she's really into counting things.
-Brinley is already the best big sister in the whole world.  She has been talking about her baby sister "London" for years now.  She is always saying "Lunnie can have this or Lunnie can have that".  Sometimes I have to remind her that she can't just lift my shirt up and give Lunnie a kiss in public.
- Brinley understands things that most 4 year olds don't.  When we go to the store she never throws a fit to get something.  If she sees something she wants she will say, "Next time can I get this?"  or "When this goes on sale can we get it?" 
-Brinley has the biggest heart!  Even as a baby she has always taken care of me.  She knew when I was having a bad day and she "fixed" it for me.  Just recently she was playing in the bathtub and I broke down over something.  She said, "Dad, what's wrong with Mom?"  He said, "She's just sad" and Brinley said, "Well, are you hugging her?"  She is so compassionate!
-At 4 years old Brinley still likes to drink warm milk
-She is a great eater.  She will eat anything.  The only things she doesn't like are tomatoes, onions, and spicy food, but don't let this fool you, she would eat junk all day long if I'd let her.  She knows it too.  She will say things like "Oh I wish candy was healthy because it's soooo good!"
-Brinley wakes up pretty early (usually around 6:30) and the first thing she wants is breakfast.  She loves anything you can put syrup on (or sugar)  pancakes, waffles, German pancakes and crapes are her favorite.
-Brinley is seriously addicted to gum.  She will sometimes ask for it 20 times a day.  This goes along with the being determined, not letting things go and the knowing what she wants that I mentioned above.
-Brinley likes to run and she's actually pretty fast.  Sometimes she will say things like, "Lets run Mom, I'm tired of walking."

Happy 4th Birthday Brinley!  We love all of the things that make you YOU!

Tea Time

Brinley wanted to have a tea party for her Birthday.  We celebrated a little bit early and had her party on Saturday.

 You would not believe what this cake put me through.  It was the cake from HELL!  On my first attempt one of the layers crumbled, Dustin pulled another cake mix out of our food storage, but it was expired so I made a trip to the store, on the second attempt the heating element went out on my stove, on the third attempt at my Mom's house (had to borrow her stove) I realized I accidentally grabbed the expired cake mix (not just a little bit expired, like over two years expired)  oh well, used it anyway, froze the 2 layers so they would be easier to frost, made the frosting, took the cakes out and frosted them the night before, but could not get them to settle, I had a huge gap between the two layers, thought letting it thaw might make it settle,  didn't work, just made my frosting runny and you aren't supposed to refrigerate it,  squished the cake to try to make it stay together, tried to fill it with frosting a little bit, looked down and realized I had somehow cut myself and was bleeding all over the place (thankfully not on the cake, just all over myself) the roses looked more like a kindergartner's art work rather than a rose so I scraped them off and started over, again and again and again (they were not this hard when I practiced them a few days earlier), tried refrigerating the frosting even though you aren't supposed to,  didn't do much other than make the frosting gritty,  both of my pastry bags got holes in them,  so at midnight I gave up, I tried to put the cover over the cake, but it wouldn't fit without messing up the roses (don't know why I cared) so I just left it out uncovered not caring at all at this point how it tasted or if it was dry and crusty,  I put the frosting in the refrigerator overnight and I cried,  I wished so badly that I could just call my Mom and tell her I needed her to make Brinley's Birthday cake.  I knew she could make it just perfect, but instead I went to bed and woke up early the next morning to work on it.  It really looked horrible, but as I was working on it Brinley woke up and said, "That's a pretty cake."  I said, "Thanks, it's your Birthday cake,"  she threw her arms around me and said, "Oh Mom, it's the most beautiful cake I ever saw." 

When Brinley put this hat on she looked just like a girl at a tea party should look and as you can tell, she had several poses to go along with it.

I made wrist corsages for the girls and bow ties for the boys.

We just can't believe we are parents of a 4 year old.

 Dustin told Brinley to close her eyes because we had one last gift for her.

 It took her a second.

 But when she realized what it was her response was,

(gasp and cover her mouth) "It's a bike!"  She was so surprised and she loves her new bike!

Thanks everyone for helping Brinley celebrate her special day.  Brinley, I'm so glad you were born!