My Amazing Mother

As many of you know, my mom was recently diagnosed with an extremely rare form of stage 4 breast cancer.  We thought that starting a blog was the easiest way to keep her family and friends informed on how she is doing.  For more information and future updates visit www.prayersfordeb.blogspot.com  

For My Grandpa

Because I can't hear this song without hearing your voice.  I know you are singing with the choir of angels.

Prayers For Deb

I'm done with the piss poor attitude, starting now!

I’m not done worrying about people I love.  I’m not done hoping.  I’m not done crying.  I’m not done thinking that life isn’t fair, but I am done dwelling on the fact that it’s not.  I’m done complaining about the things and the people I can not change.  I’m done worrying about what I may not have tomorrow and I’m going to start appreciating what I have today because the truth is, I have so so much to be happy about.  I’m done not living my best life.  I’m done not giving myself and others what they deserve.   I’m done fighting God for control that he will not and should not give me.  Can’t wait to enjoy the sunshine, it’s such a beautiful day!

I hate life on earth sometimes

Why does it have to be so hard??????

She Knew What She Was Talking About! It's a...

GIRL!!!!

Dustin and I were guessing that it was a boy, but Brinley has been talking about her baby sister in heaven for well over  a year.  I guess she knew what she was talking about.  We are so excited!  More importantly the baby seems to be very healthy and based on the development of the baby my due date is August 28th, but they won't actually change it.  I'm just hoping it means an August baby rather than September.

A Blast From the Past - My how times have changed

We have so many projects going right now and nothing makes you get things accomplished like a baby on the way.  So, Saturday night we sat around painting storage boxes while watching The Buttercream Gang.  It was so funny to watch, Dustin and I kept talking about how nice it would be if life were really that easy.  I can't believe how much the shows we watched growing up are so different from what you see today.  In fact, after we put Brinley to bed we also saw part of 48 Hour Mystery and the news, both of which left me feeling physically sick!  I'm scared to raise kids in this world.  I lose sleep over it and to tell you the truth, I'm not sure I can do it. 

Sunday we woke up and Brinley said, "Mom, will you play in my room with me?"

"Sure Brinley.  What are we going to play?"

"How about Barbies?"

So, we got down her Barbie stuff and played and then... I remembered I had a tote of old Barbie stuff so we pulled it out of storage.  I hadn't opened that tote in close to 20 years so it was fun to see what I had and how different our stuff was.

 Barbie 2011 style

And Barbie 1980's and 1990's style.

 I didn't have any of my old Barbies so we put one of my Barbie dresses on Brinley's Barbie.  It looked loose and big on her.  Are they making Barbies smaller now than they used to be?  That was a little disturbing.  Maybe the styles are just getting tighter.

See the difference in clothes?  The top row are obviously clothes my Barbies used to wear and below are Brinley's.  My how times have changed.



A Few Thoughts on Running

I love this quote, “I run because I can. When I get tired, I remember those who can’t run, what they would give to have this simple gift I take for granted, and I run harder for them. I know they would do the same for me.”

Lately I feel so different, awkward, weak… I’m not used to feeling this way, but I keep running. Why? Because I can. Sometimes I am left wondering why I do this. This morning my alarm went off at 5:00 and I drug my awkwardly large body out of bed and hit the gym. I lifted weights then ran for a lousy 30 minutes, that in itself felt like it’s own marathon. I have always had this love/hate relationship with running. Why do I hate it? The same reason anyone else hates it, because it’s hard. But thankfully I have been able to see the other side of running, the “love” side. Why do I love it? Because it’s so rewarding. Running has got me through some very trying times in my life. It just seems so much less rewarding when you are pregnant. No matter how hard I run it will only get harder for me. No matter how hard I run I will continue to get bigger and gain weight. No matter how hard I run I will only get slower. So, why do I do it? I was beginning to ask myself that same question and remembered, well, because I can. I am truly blessed to be able to run. Most women don’t/can’t run during pregnancy and I am very thankful that I can and that I have a Dr. who supports my running. The second I walked in the door my focus changes. My me time is over and my focus becomes my family. For instance, this morning when I walked in the door my husband was still in bed because his alarm didn’t go off. I was rushing to make his breakfast and lunch (trust me, he requires a lot of food) when Brinley came out “Mom, I peed in my bed, will you get me some clean clothes?” I realized then, this is why I run. Exercising gives me what I need so I can spend the rest of the day focusing on everyone else’s needs. I truly believe I am a better mom and wife because I run and I’m so thankful I have a body that can.

I loved the March/April issue of Rocky Mountain Running and Triathlon. I love that they recognized moms as being “super” I’m so glad someone finally sees this. It seems every magazine I pick up gives women the title of being “amazing” because of politics, the amount of money they make, their looks, their career or some other thing that is actually far less amazing than motherhood. I love that they recognized these mom’s as being amazing. I could relate to them, we all can because we are just ordinary people doing something amazing, raising children. It truly is the most important thing we can do.

"I wanted my boys to see me put myself out there in an environment where I am not super confident.  I wanted them to see my hard work, my sweat, and my moving body... I wanted them to learn that rewards only come after hard work." - Jill Murdock

I recently read a headline that broke my heart a little bit "NYC Mom Leaves her Husband and Two Kids for Fear of Being Swallowed up by Motherly Duties" Now I say it broke my heart a little bit because these kids are probably better off without her, but it's still sad.  Maybe this mom should have taken up running???

Got to love an honest answer

Brinley:  "Don't smile at me"
Me: "Why?"
Brinley:   "Because I don't like your teeth!"

Day 4

 We spent some time at Huntington Beach.  I love the ocean!  A part of me wants to move to the coast so I can be a beach bum.  I don't think I could ever get sick of it, ever!

 Brinley had so much fun playing in the water, collecting sea shells and getting buried in the sand.  It's so hard to say goodbye to the ocean when you know it's snowing at home.

After we left the beach we headed for Hollywood.

And when we got home I remembered why I live here, I can breathe in my own backyard.